October 2013 - The Y Logs

Yzabel / October 30, 2013

No matter what I write, it sucks

Or at least, that’s the way I often feel. Although it’s not true. Well, not completely. (What, did you think this ost was going to be about me moping from beginning to end? Think twice.)

I’m positive I’m far from being the only writer going through such conundrums. Am I?

Those days when you work on a story, only to read something else a couple of hours later, on a similar theme, something that makes you think that your own text is dumb, flat, flavourless.

Those days when you know the deadline is nearing, that you should work on your short story, finish it quickly so that your beta-readers (or just yourself, if you don’t have any) still have some time left to proof-read it. But you can’t, because that nagging feeling is always here, whispering “it’s useless, this text will never be accepted, it’ll just land on the slush pile among all the other submissions that are just as crappy as yours.” So you remain sitting at your desk, looking blandly at a story you know how to finish, only the words won’t come out.

Those days when your own ideas seem wonderful as long as they remain in your head, only to lose all their punch in your eyes once you commit them to paper (or computer). And you wonder, once again, whether it was worth it or not, whether you’re doomed to “ruin” everything you touch. Whether you “have it in you” at all.

Yet you don’t stop. You cannot stop. Something in you prompts you to go on. Some masochistic streak, perhaps. Or some hidden strength that discreetly shoves aside the little voice, in its own silent way. You go to bed one day, defeated and considering to just scrap that story and start anew, or not start again at all; the next morning, a random sentence pops into your head, making you think “wait, this would sound great in [that part of] my story”. And there it is again, the spark, the inner glow you had forgotten still dwellt in your heart, and before you know it, your story or chapter is finished—with a bonus: this time, it looks like it can stand on its own two feet for a change, albeit tentatively.

I don’t like the negative thought processes I go through before finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel; on the other hand, they make the good moments seem so much brighter, more intense. I know I’ll go through such rock-bottom phases on a regular basis, and I dread them; at the same time, I’m a little fond of them all the same, because they make me question myself, my craft, my ability to write, and in turn, I am pushed to research writing techniques, experiment with new things, improve as much as I can. I know myself: should I be full of self-confidence all the time, I’d grow complacent, and complacency means stagnation to me.

So perhaps I am a bit of a masochist. Perhaps I’m “lucky”, in a way, in that I’m one of those people who do well in times of stress, and are never as efficient as when the deadline looms in—being able to remain a functional being in such moments of sheer panicking is quite an asset, I tell you. Perhaps I also feel just a little jealous of those writers and other artists who keep their self-confidence in check at all times, or almost, and never let their doubts get in the way. (A little? No, wait. That’s a lie. Replace it by “a lot”.)

Still, it keeps me in check. And when your Muse is just the same lazy bum as yourself, this is definitely something I want. (*)

I guess the morale of this post is simply: never give up, no matter your feelings. If that story’s in you, it has to be given birth, no matter how painful it is.

(*) I admit it openly: I am a lazy person. However, I have developed the Art of Laziness to the following point: “Learn to get things done fast and well, so that you can idle around freely afterwards.” In a twisted way, this is how I achieve efficiency in… pretty much everything.

Yzabel / October 27, 2013

Review: Shifting Selves

Shifting Selves by Mia Marshall

My rating: [rating=3]

Summary:

Aidan Brook’s world was shattered when the actions of a brutal murderer revealed long-buried secrets about her past. A powerful elemental, Aidan discovered she possesses the wrong kind of magic. It’s a secret that could cost her sanity—or even her life.

What she needs is some peace and quiet. What she gets is a phone call from a division of the FBI so secret it doesn’t even have a name, asking for her help with a series of shifter disappearances.

Before Aidan can settle into a new routine of pancakes and evenings by the fire, the case develops claws. She quickly finds herself caught between uptight bears, deadly mountain lions, overprotective parents, and unhappy federal agents. Throw in a stalled romance with an enigmatic shifter and the slow dissolution of her chosen family, and it’s hard to say which will drive her mad first: her magic, or her chaotic life.

Review:

(I got this book from NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.)

I read the first installment to this series a few months ago, and enjoyed this second one just as much, although I think I’d have liked to see more development in some places.

This time, Aidan and Sera, as newly employed by the FBI, are caught into a series of kidnappings involving shifters, but whose consequences could affect elementals as well, in more than one way. Aidan is also faced with the gloomy prospect of suffering from her true nature, and the events happening throughout the story are constant reminders for her that she must absolutely keep herself in check; and the stakes are high, since she could very well end up causing harm to those she love, including the man she’s been falling for. Finally, she must also contend with the potential slow dissolution of the new family she believed she had found, as each of her friends have lives of their own they wish to resume.

“Shifting Selves” was an enjoyable read, but perhaps a little too slow in parts to my liking, notably when it came to Aidan’s relationship with Mac. I can’t exactly pinpoint what made me think that, because it was more a faint feeling than anything else, though it lasted throughout the book. I’d say that Mac and Aidan kept running in circles for a little too long, and that in the end, things evolved without really evolving between them. The hints leading to the truth behind the kidnappings felt a little weak, too; I guess I’d have liked to see more of them—more false leads, perhaps.

On the other hand, the group dynamics remained as strong as it was in the first book, and I liked how we got to see more of the politics going on in the world of shifters and elementals (and not to mention the shifter otters: utterly adorable AND badass at the same time).

Definitely a solid 3.5 stars for this one.

Yzabel / October 23, 2013

Review: Paradigm

Paradigm by Helen Stringer

My rating: [rating=3]

(I got this book from NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.)

Summary:

“If I ask you to do something, will you do it?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?”

“Well, I don’t know what it is yet. But I’m guessing that death is the alternative, so I’m prepared to be reasonable.”

Sam Cooper is seventeen. He drives a cherry red 1968 GTO that he won on a bet, and spends his days exploring the open roads of the great American West. He should be living the teenage dream, but post-collapse America is a hard place to survive.

The United States is long dead, basic resources are getting scarcer, and no one on Earth has seen the stars since before he was born. Vast tracts of the country are now empty as people huddle together for safety. In all this chaos, Sam has survived on his wits and occasional luck. But a visit to the walled and prosperous Century City results in a split-second decision that changes everything. Soon Sam is on the run from the ruthless Carolyn Bast, and by something much more dangerous: MUTHA-a powerful artificial entity that has been watching and waiting for Sam’s return from the barren outlands. Sam unknowingly carries the key to something MUTHA can’t live without, something so dangerous that others are willing to kill him, or worse, to ensure that the great plex never possesses it.

Sam can’t stay one step ahead of them forever. His only hope is to unravel the secrets of his peculiar past and awaken the incredible power that sleeps within-because even in his beloved GTO, without the truth, Sam will never succeed in outracing the nightmare to come.

Review:

This novel range from “okay” to “I like it”. It is interspersed with good ideas and easily recognisable characters, and although some of the latter are a little bit on the cliché side, they still manage to stand on their own. (And let’s be honest: at some point, I do want clichés. I do want to picture the badass poncho-wearing girl slashing at enemies with knives in her hands and razor-blades woven in her braids. In fact, the illustrator in me wants to draw that.)

The villains were a little over the top at times, but I liked that they were also chessmasters, laying plans within plans within plans. Too often in books, I find the antagonists too simple-minded, so when I find one that actually remembers to anticipate, I’m glad.

What I liked less in “Paradigm” was how it could easily become confusing. It relies a lot on the reader’s intrisic understanding of vocabulary and concepts that is, indeed, part of regular readers’ of sci-fi… but not so much of others. Even though I managed to follow most of the technological ideas conveyed throughout the story, there were still moments when I had to flip back a few pages, or wonder if this or that explanation held water scientifically, or was just resting on wibbly-wobbly scientific notions. (My own knowledge in that regard isn’t fail-safe, so I can never be sure.)

The plot, too, is a bit all over the place. On the one hand, it gives off nice vibes of a mad chase; on the other, it also made me feel like the characters were always running around right and left, conveniently finding each other again, too. Things go fast, and you may not notice such details on the moment, but for me, they had a nagging tendency to come back to mind later. (I guess the main character, Sam, was confusing as well: he’s supposed to be smart, yet some of his reactions seemed to run contrary to the Sam I had learned to know until now.)

Last but not least, the romance part was simply useless. I enjoyed Alma’s badass streak and no-nonsense attitude, but friendship would’ve done the job just as well.

I’d give it a 2.5 stars, but decided to round it up to 3 all the same, because all in all, “Paradigm” kept me entertained. Still, I feel it necessary to point out that younger readers might be confused now and then by how the world is presented.

Yzabel / October 10, 2013

Review: Bellman & Black

Bellman & Black: A Ghost Story by Diane Setterfield

My rating: [rating=3]

Summary:

As a boy, William Bellman commits one small, cruel act: killing a bird with his slingshot. Little does he know the unforeseen and terrible consequences of the deed, which is soon forgotten amidst the riot of boyhood games. By the time he is grown, with a wife and children of his own, William seems to be a man blessed by fortune—until tragedy strikes and the stranger in black comes. Then he starts to wonder if all his happiness is about to be eclipsed. Desperate to save the one precious thing he has left, William enters into a rather strange bargain, with an even stranger partner, to found a decidedly macabre business.

And Bellman & Black is born.

Review:

(I received a copy of this book through NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.)

I found this story to be reminiscent of 19th century novels, and in some parts, I think it succeeds in keeping up with that kind of atmosphere. Although we’re never told when exactly it is set, hints scattered here and there give enough information to piece a general period together, and even if this sense of being out of time can be annoying to some, to me it was part of what made the novel’s charm. Overall, it takes us from a rural approach to commercial ventures, gradually moving into more modern views, until that one universal need everybody goes through in the end.

The main character’s family and history were fleshed out enough for me to get attached to them, which in turn made what happened predictable, yet still touching. Maybe I would’ve liked to see more about the women, though, to really get how important they were to Bellman. The writing also does justice to the theme, and was often enthralling.

A large part of my interest in this story was how Bellman was basically given a second chance (through another character) but sadly never really understood what it was, and led himself astray, all the while thinking he was doing the right thing. This made his character all the more tragic and troubling, because his mistake was at once selfish and a very human one.

However (and even though in the end, it didn’t prevent me from enjoying this novel), I think the blurb of B&B is somewhat misleading. For instance, I was expecting the mysterious Black to appear sooner, to be more present, maybe—technically, he is, but I feel that it’s not what I was promised, in a way. This could unfortunately detract from other readers’ enjoyment. Same with some potential plot points that seemed to start (Lizzie, among others) that felt like they were going to become important… yet they didn’t. Those would’ve been worth more attention.

Yzabel / October 7, 2013

Review: Dream of Time

Dream of Time by Nancy J. Price

My rating: [rating=3]

Summary:

Each night, when Robin drifts off to sleep, she finds herself dreaming about the life of a woman in the Victorian age. She soon realizes it’s not a dream at all, but she is truly slipping into San Francisco’s past.

While living two lives — one as a mom in the modern day, the other as a proper young lady at the turn of the century — she discovers *how* she’s being sent back to a bygone era is only the first mystery. A much more important question is *why* she’s there.

With the help of a rookie police officer, Robin takes off on a spellbinding adventure, sifting through a century’s worth of clues to untangle the past — and to put love to the test. History, though, proves itself a worthy opponent, and she comes to experience firsthand how destiny can be kind and cruel in the same stroke.

Review:

(I got a copy of this book through NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.)

A pleasant enough book, though it might be considered as lacking in certain aspects of time travel, and perhaps character development, too, depending on what you expect.

I really liked the details of 1900 San Franciso, how Robin had to get used to her “life in the Then”, without all the commodities we take for granted nowadays. Some things she gets used to it fairly quickly, yet she definitely needs help with others, and this made the story more believable: had she been able to adapt too easily, it wouldn’t have been interesting.

I also enjoyed the links to articles, pictures of items of clothing, and various other visual tidbits throughout the text. Since this was an ebook, and I was reading either on my computer or tablet, it was very easy to navigate to the aforementioned links (although I admit I only did it once I was done with a chapter, in order not to disrupt my reading). It may not seem like much, but it was a nice add-on, and one you can tell the author enjoyed putting in.

Last but not least, the manner in which some threads tied together at the end was interesting. Some may say it was the easy way out, but I think it fit well enough; I’m not sure there could’ve been a truly happily-ever-after ending, and the one we got here, though bittersweet, still felt appropriate to me.

What I’m less sure about is how Robin took in what was happening. In some ways, she reacted very sensibly, but in others, it felt as if she was too oblivious to what seemed to me like sheer evidence, especially since she had access to much information in the Now. I had the feeling that she should’ve been looking for specific clues more quickly, and instead “wasted” her time on others. Of course, keeping in mind that I was a reader comfortably installed in her chair, and not living through such events as described in the book, it’s easy to say! This is why I’m not totally sure if the heroine’s reactions were logical or not: with everything going on, her basically living two lives (and she did a good job not breaking out after the first few days), maybe it wasn’t so surprising at all.

Another element that may have been a little confusing was the matter of paradox, which is something very, very tricky to toy with in stories revolving around time travel. There were a couple of instances where Robin discovered some clues sent to her through Jennie, acted accordingly, yet didn’t ensure that said clues would be sent to her future self, which should thus have ended as a paradox loop.

I found a few typos/missing words here and there, but nothing too jarring nor distracting in the long run. Those few qualms notwithstanding, I can say I enjoyed this novel.

Yzabel / October 6, 2013

Review: Engines of the Broken World

Engines of the Broken World by Jason Vanhee

My rating: [rating=4]

(I got an ARC ebook copy through NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.)

Summary:

Merciful Truth and her brother, Gospel, have just pulled their dead mother into the kitchen and stowed her under the table. It was a long illness, and they wanted to bury her—they did—but it’s far too cold outside, and they know they won’t be able to dig into the frozen ground. The Minister who lives with them, who preaches through his animal form, doesn’t make them feel any better about what they’ve done. Merciful calms her guilty feelings but only until, from the other room, she hears a voice she thought she’d never hear again. It’s her mother’s voice, and it’s singing a lullaby. . . .

Review:

This book left me with an odd feeling, but in a good way: the kind of feeling you cannot define, that puts you at unease, yet that at the same time keeps you enthralled and fascinated. The story is wrapped in a definite atmosphere of raw despair and claustrophobia, and its characters, although bleak-looking at first, become easier to understand chapter after chapter. Merciful is a simple girl who’s led a simple life in a simple place, under the guidance of her mother and the Minister; Gospel, her elder brother, tries to be The Man in the family, although he is only three years older and is still a scared child in some ways. Their only comfort, after their mother’s death and even before that, is the Minister itself, and that is to say a lot, since it’s not even a human being they’re dealing with, but an animal.

While you hope until the end that everything will be fully resolved, there’s that nagging little voice in you that keeps saying “it cannot end well”; part of you wants to ignore it, and part of you wants it to be right, because every element—that lost, backward village, its few remaining inhabitants, the mysterious fog, the setting itself—almost screams for it. In a way, it is terrifying. In another, it is alright. You might never know what really happened, how it really ended, if it really ended… but somehow, it’s alright. And I wouldn’t have wanted it to be otherwise.

I also liked how the author managed to toy with the minds of his characters, by also toying with the reader’s mind. More than once I wondered if I had read too fast, if I hadn’t paid attention enough to this or that detail, or if maybe I had put a finger on a plot hole; then, a few chapters later, it all made sense again, and I realised I had been fooled—again, in a good way.

My biggest qualm, I think, would be that the characters weren’t fast enough when it came to understanding a specific turning point in the plot, and might have been able to understand sooner the whole deal about the machine. But at the same time… could they? Considering the life they had been leading until now, and their present circumstances, wasn’t it normal for them to be a little slow on the taking? I can’t make a proper decision about that. All things considered, I enjoyed this book no matter what.

Yzabel / October 5, 2013

Review: One Great Year

One Great Year by Tamara Veitch

My rating: [rating=1]

Summary:

As the world descends from a Golden Age into darkness and brutality, Marcus has been reincarnated an exhausting number of times. Selected to become an Emissary, it is his duty to protect the ancient secrets. His adventure is heightened because he secretly consumes a serum that allows him to have memory from one lifetime to the next. In doing so, he sets himself up for thousands of years of torment, loneliness, and searching.

Desperate to never forget his soulmate, Theron, and never sure if he was truly meant to be an Emissary, Marcus struggles through lifetimes to overcome his cruel and powerful nemesis, Helghul.

Fusing the adventure of Indiana Jones with the introspection and wisdom of Eckhart Tolle, One Great Year takes readers on an epic journey through history, following characters who are born and reborn as they struggle to triumph over evil.

Review:

(I got this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.)

I must unfortunately admit I had a very hard time finishing this book, and only did so because I was supposed to review it.

The ideas behind it are interesting, and could indeed have spanned for quite an epic over millenia. Besides, I’ve always been fascinated by the concept of reincarnation and those linked to it (such as that of the jati), and being able to also see the characters in some of their previous lives is something I tend to like in books. But I found the execution lacking here.

What turned me off almost from the beginning was how everything, or almost, was told instead of shown, which made up for a dull style, and one hard to stand for so many pages. As a result, connecting with the characters was difficult, both because this kept me distanciated from them and because of how one-dimensional they seemed. I never got why Helghul made such a choice in the cave, for instance, and mostly he appeared like a tantrum-throwing kid who only wanted Theron because Marcus wanted her. What were his initial motives, anyway? As for Theron, she was described as so perfect in every way in her first life that she was just unbearable; then her sole purpose in the following ones seemed to be the object of Marcus’s quest, as well as a kind of prize for Helghul. There was also quite a lot of head-jumping, with the point of view quickly shifting from one character to the other and, again, telling the reader about everything, including a bit of foreshadowing (to be fair: I like the latter when it’s done through events, only not when it’s through explanatory sentences).

Another big peeve of mine was how Marcus, basically, totally wasted his ‘gift’. I thought his having memories of his past lives would prompt him to *do* something in each new life, if only to further his chances of finding Theron, but he didn’t seem to do much, especially in his latest life, with so many means at one’s disposal. Somehow, I found myself rooting for the bad guys, because they, at least, had been planning ahead and showing signs of cleverness. With heroes like those, no need for enemies, I guess.

It’s too bad. I really wanted to like this story. But I just couldn’t.