Yzabel / February 7, 2014

The Edge of Never by J.A. Redmerski

My rating: [rating=1]

Summary:

Twenty-year-old Camryn Bennett had always been one to think out-of-the-box, who knew she wanted something more in life than following the same repetitive patterns and growing old with the same repetitive life story. And she thought that her life was going in the right direction until everything fell apart.

Determined not to dwell on the negative and push forward, Camryn is set to move in with her best friend and plans to start a new job. But after an unexpected night at the hottest club in downtown North Carolina, she makes the ultimate decision to leave the only life she’s ever known, far behind.

With a purse, a cell phone and a small bag with a few necessities, Camryn, with absolutely no direction or purpose boards a Greyhound bus alone and sets out to find herself. What she finds is a guy named Andrew Parrish, someone not so very different from her and who harbors his own dark secrets. But Camryn swore never to let down her walls again. And she vowed never to fall in love.

But with Andrew, Camryn finds herself doing a lot of things she never thought she’d do. He shows her what it’s really like to live out-of-the-box and to give in to her deepest, darkest desires. On their sporadic road-trip he becomes the center of her exciting and daring new life, pulling love and lust and emotion out of her in ways she never imagined possible. But will Andrew’s dark secret push them inseparably together, or tear them completely apart?

Due to sexual content and language, this book is recommended for 17+

Review:

(I got this book through Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review.)

The premise—hitting the road to Wherever, meeting someone, travelling together in search of something more—was interesting, and could’ve led to a (no pun intended) an “On the Road” approach. What I got was different, though. I liked the first ten percents of this story, but as I kept reading, little things started to pile up, and I realised I was going to be infuriated. I’m going to admit that hadn’t I read it both for a book club and for Netgalley, I might have not finished it.

First, Camryn. She’s supposed to be a smart girl with a lot of depth. I just found her flat and incredibly judgmental. From the beginning, she discretly disses other people for “dreaming up new sex positions” while she thinks “about things that really matter” (at least she adds “in my world”), such as the smell of the ocean. I could understand if she wrote poetry, but I doubt this is indicative of being “a deep person”. I don’t see how this is less shallow than sex positions. Anyway, the problem lies with how she keeps judging others, and placing herself in a higher position. All the time. Only in a subtle way. I didn’t pay attention at first; once I started to do it, it was everywhere.

Then, the slut-shaming. It’s everywhere, coming from Camryn first, but also from Andrew. I don’t get those books where all women but the protagonist are portrayed as “slutty”. Her ex cheated on her with “some red-headed slut”. Her best friend she considers a slut, even though it appears like silly banter. And there’s this gem, like a fist in your face:

“She pulls it from between his fingers and all the while she watches every little move his hand makes until it falls away from her eyes down behind the counter.
Slut.”

Because when a woman casts an appreciative look on a hot guy who isn’t even your boyfriend, she’s a slut. Yes. I just say she’s, well, you know. Normal. Who wouldn’t look at someone s/he finds beautiful (and is described, anyway, as having a muscled body and other attributes traditionally associated with beauty)?

Andrew, too, isn’t immune to that.
About one-night stands:
““If a girl did that a-lot,” he draws out that word with a squeamish smile, “then it would be slutty, sure. Once or twice, I don’t know…,” he motions his hands at level with his shoulders as if shaking the numbers around in his mind indecisively, “there’s nothing wrong with that.””

Of course. When a guy does it, it’s a proof of his virility; of how sexy he is; whatever. When a girl enjoys sex and having different partners, she’s a slut. (Note that they absolutely don’t mention having non-safe sex. It’s just sex in general.)

I’m so fed up with the slut-shaming and double-standards. They ruin everything. They make characters cliché, and not the good, amusing kind of stereotype either. Especially when they’re used to make the main characters appear as Mr. and Ms. Perfect. Enough with the holier-than-thou attitude. Stop trampling on other people to make yourself look better.

Speaking of Andrew: “If you were to let me fuck you, you would have to let me own you.” What kind of screwed-up reasoning is that? What is it meant to express? That they have to be in love? Can’t you just say “we have to be in a relationship”, and not give her some crap about being “owned”? Women aren’t items. This sentence isn’t romantic. It’s just infuriating. Andrew’s shown as a gorgeous guy with a heart of gold, and sure enough, he is kind… but he also has darker sides that are never shown as, well, being potentially wrong. (view spoiler)[When a man pushes on Camryn in the restroom, Andrew gets all violent on him. Then the police commends him. Are they supposed to condone violence? Shouldn’t they at least tell him “you could’ve talked to him first”? Sure, the older man was a lewd jerk, a potential rapist, and deserved a kick in the nuts anyway. However, when the guy who’s clearly going to be the love interest in the story gets violent like that when he and the girl aren’t even dating yet, it smacks of “later, if you look at someone else, I’ll get all jealous and punch him, too; or you, who knows.” A lot of domestic abuse has started that way. (hide spoiler)]

The writing itself was nothing exceptional. The road trip part became annoying after a while. As for the ending, it seems that many people found it exceptional. I didn’t. It reminded me of soap-operas. Or of teenage-angst fanfic piling up bad event upon bad event. It was both too much and too unbelievable.